“To thine own self be true”
What does it mean to be true to yourself? There are many aspects to each personality and sides to the prism of who you are. So, which “Self” are you meant to be true to? As a new year begins, I need to choose between two paths ahead of me, two sides of my Self.…
“Thoughts arrive like butterflies”
My mind is regularly stormed by thoughts that I want to chase away. Lately, in order to stray my mind from unwanted cerebration, I’ve been listening to audio books, podcasts and series. This constant influx of content feeds my mind, but at the same time, it tires me and slowly stifles my creativity.
“Tears are words that need to be written”
Generally speaking, our mental health is damaged. This is, in part, due to our isolation and to seeds of fear that have been planted and nourished, thereby slowly reducing the spectrum of our freedom and power.
“A time when decency has lost its hold on the public imagination”
People are not less decent or kind than before. But decency is generally no longer valued or exemplified the way it used to be. And though quotes about kindness have become popular, in practice it is not encouraged.
“You fought me when I was strong, you despised me when I was weak”
When I look around, I am rather disappointed with what is passed off as feminism or asserting your femininity today. Like many groups that have been victimised and undervalued over millennia, rather than helping each other up, many women push each other down as they try to gain their spot on Mount Olympus.
“The 21st Century is all about individualism and freedom”
This quote reminded me of a discussion I had with friends about how isolated and disconnected we feel in most western societies. Even though the standards of living are decidedly higher in the West, we felt that, in many ways, the quality of life is higher in the east or the south, and that this…
“Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great”
Just as the fear of missing out (FOMO) is built on the presumption that something fantastic and unmissable is going on and you’re missing it, we are often brought to believe that we should lead extraordinary lives. But sometimes, life is just life, and it is unpredictable.
“Dripping Water hollows out Stone”
We have all, at one point or another in our lives, been victimised by someone. Whether it happens at the level of the individual or the group, manipulation is only effective when it is slow and gradual.
“It’s the end of the world as we know it”
Since Russian forces attacked Ukraine, I’ve been going through every media channel to get a sense of what is actually going on. Finding objective and reliable sources of information among the hubbub of opinions, news updates and outrage on all sides has not been easy.
“No flag, no country! You can’t have one”
Flags have been on my mind, as I’ve been observing the rise of nationalisms everywhere. They do strange things to people. I’ve never quite understood how these pieces of cloth, bearing symbols, trigger such strong emotions.
“The café counter is the parliament of the people”
Though it seems everyone is making podcasts, finding one that consistently elevates your mind without feeling like a heavy lift is not an easy task. I have stumbled upon a remarkable podcast, which manages this delicate balance and gets me thinking about how we communicate.
“Should I stay or should I go?”
In this post-COVID world, my 40-year-old friend (a mother of two) asked me whether she should stay at her current job, stick it out and keep hoping for a positive change. Or whether she should get out before becoming cynical.
“42 Up”
In this COVID-19 crisis, I am fortunate to have a new job that I’m excited about, to have my wide-eyed child by my side, to live in a home and a neighbourhood I love. But these times of relative isolation have also brought on a new wave of reflection which reminds me that life doesn’t…
“Dear, don’t hope any more”
Three nights ago my childhood friend passed away. His name was Sasha. I remember him as the bright-eyed beautiful boy with a mischievous smile I once knew. To me, Sasha is a symbol of our enchanted childhood summers before a rude awakening.
“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas”
Much of the beauty to be found in the world stems from the great diversity that exists in our cultures. I am all for mixing nations and cultures. However, what distresses me is the takeover and uniformisation of traditions as a consequence of unleashed capitalism.
“Meaningful connections between the subjective and objective world”
I used to feel as though the Universe was blocking my every move, sabotaging my every undertaking. The more I fought, the harder the blows I got were. Until, one day, a window that had been shut was opened.
“I’ve had the time of my life”
Before leaving for my summer destination, I knew this trip was going to be a decisive one for me. Since then, I have been on an amazing ride, shedding burdens and wrinkles with each step I take.
“There are no strings on me”
We live in an era of absolute interconnectedness. We know it and read about it everywhere. Meanwhile, the great majority of people have most likely rarely felt as alone as they do now.
“These are a few of my favourite things”
I have temporarily put my great ambitions of ongoing happiness aside and have traded them for a multitude of instants of joy. Though negative thoughts still pop up, it does seem that the accumulation of moments of joy has a truly therapeutic effect.
“The best is yet to come”
The phrase “The best is yet to come” implies that the future must compete with the past. But how can it? And when building this future, do you create your own happiness or does it come to you?
“Is Love a Fancy or a Feeling?”
Right now, what I am missing is not the big L.O.V.E. but an infatuation, a platonic love, someone to think about with a smile and a giggle. Someone to exchange messages with, without the complications of everyday life and practicality. An ideal disembodied sort of love.
“Take it easy baby, take it as it comes”
For a while there, I was stuck. Stuck in a place where I felt like I was rowing against the current and I had to keep rowing just to stay in one place. This often happens in life, but it’s important for these phases not to last too long, otherwise you forget what it’s like…
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About Me
Hi, I’m Ljuba. I started writing this blog as I reached that Midlife milestone. Turning forty brings on a wave of reflections about yourself, the world you live in, and your place in it.
Sharing my thoughts has helped me to deal with these major questions. I hope reading them can help you, too.
My journey:
So far, my life has been dominated by multiculturalism, inclusion, and creativity. I studied Political Science but ended up finding professional bliss in musical theatre and cultural events (around Romani Culture in particular). And while I am deeply European, I only really found myself when I moved to Montreal.
Today, as a working mother living in Brussels, I spend what little free time I have writing, to try to make sense of this world and my place in it.
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Midlife Reflection 